Rules and Reasons
by FrozenWaterLily
Summary: Just a drabble I wrote under the influence of sugar, I was also bored and had insomnia. So it's just some rules for the Marauders and the reasons why they exist. second Chapter is on it's way.
1. Chapter 1

Rules and Reasons

_Written by varies people close to the Marauders and of course the Marauders them self _

_**((This is just something I did when I was bor**__**ed out of my mind, high on sugar and had insomnia… just drabbles of Rules and the Reasons why**_

**1.**** NEVER EVER IN THE WHOLE WIDE WORLD, NOT EVEN IF PINK DOUGHNUTS WITH YELLOW FLOWERS AND BLUE BUNNIES ON ARE FLYING IN THE SKY, WAKE REMUS UP AT THREE IN THE MORNING! **_By Sirius 'Padfoot' Black_

**Padfoot: **It hurts! Believe me, it hurts a lot and bleeds… My poor nose!

**Prongs: **It was your own damn fault.

**Padfoot: **But I wanted some company… I was bored.

**Moony: **It was three in the morning you could just have gone to bed like the rest of us… but NOOO! Not the great Padfoot.

**Padfoot: **I had just eaten four chocolate cakes I was high on sugar…

**Moony: **_-sarcasm- _So that's the reason you jumped on me… 'cause you know I really love to wake up in the middle of the night with you on my stomach.

**Padfoot: **_-very hurt- _you didn't have to punch me in the face… you broke my nose!

**Prongs: **Number one: he was hardly awake and can therefore not be blamed.  
Number two: he gave you a straight right… or it might have been a left…!?

----

**2. If you're inside the Honeydukes don't let Remus near the 'blood pops' …for the obvious reasons.**_By James 'Prongs' Potter_

**Padfoot: **It is fairly hard trying to explain to the clerk, and later Professor Dumbledore (even though he knows), how one**, human,** thirteen year old can devour an entire bottle of candy made from nothing else then blood (and a little sugar) without giving away **too much **information.

**Prongs: **And we had to pay for it too.

**Padfoot:** Yeah that too, and Remie don't have any money so we had to pay a Gallion for it. Remus gave us some chocolate from his private stock as payback.

**Moony: **_-head in hands- _It was so humiliating… and then having to explain it all to Dumbledore just because that clerk told him when he was in there to buy some chocolate frogs.

----

**3. Never give Lily Evans a lily (I hope you're reading this Prongs) she'll take it as a joke.**_ By Sirius 'Padfoot' Black_

**Moony: **That black eye lasted long enough to be made the magical way and not natural!

**Prongs: **And that comes from the person who spends at least one week a month covered in bandages.

**Moony: **_-Glares at Prongs-_ Well it ain't me how's asked out a girl 658,4 times in one year and got dumped, fairly painful, every single one of them!

**Prongs: **_-Glares back-_ That's because you've never asked a girl out. Because you're too scared and every girl that goes out with you will either hate you or fear you!

**Moony: **_-Starts to get up-_

**Padfoot: **Where are you going?

**Moony: **To Dumbledore… What he just said can be seen as an accusation against my condition!

**Padfoot: **_-Grabs Remus and shoves him into an armchair-_ You're not going anywhere!  
_-__Turns to James-_ Don't get him started on Werewolf rights or we'll get a detention for prejudicing!  
I don't want another of those, Remember…

**Prongs: **_-starts to shiver- _I remember we had to read _**'An academic guide to Dark creature's edition: Werewolf's' **_for three hours.

**Padfoot and Prongs: **WE LOVE YOU MOONSY!!!

**Moony: **Love you too…

----

**4. Never let**** the Bludgers loose in the great hall. **_By Remus 'Moony' Lupin_

**Moony: **PADFOOT!!!

**Padfoot: **Sorry, but you got to admit it was kind of funny…

**Moony: **Funny!? Padfoot Madam Pomfrey had 683 people with broken bones to treat including five teachers.  
But, yeah it was kind of fun… until one of them hit Professor Dumbledore's right arm.

**Prongs: **Professor McGonagall was really mad that time wasn't she?

**Padfoot: **My poor ears!

**Moony: **Your ears!? What about mine… I got the wolf's sense of hearing you know, how do you think I felt after all that screaming she'd been doing?

**Prongs: **So that's the reason you vomited…!?

**Moony: **My ears, My head!!! It was all pondering…

----

**5. Don't give**** that fat boy in our dorm (I think his name is Bruce Rettingrow) fire whiskey. **_By Sirius 'Padfoot' Black_

**Moony: **His name is Peter Pettigrew.

**Prongs:** How do you know that? The only thing we do is bully him, we don't ask for his name…

**Moony:** Because his Mother has written his name inside **all **his clothes.

**Padfoot:** what are you doing with his clothes, have you no pride as a Marauder? Remember we don't help the people we bully!

**Moony:** I'm not helping him I'm cleaning up after him and if I didn't then we would live in a dumpster. By the way the rule was: never give him fire whiskey… and I agree…

That was the grossed thing I've ever seen!

**Padfoot: **I'm never going to forget it, ever.

**Prongs: **It felt like we were swimming in it.

**Moony: **_-Covers ears- _Please don't say that!

**Padfoot: **But it's true it was everywhere… even in the girl's bedrooms and considering that slide thing I really wish to know how he got it up there.

**Moony: **I rather not…

**Prongs: **I second that!

----

**6. Don****'t let the Marauders into a muggle school. **_By Albus Dumbledore_

**Padfoot: **I don't see the problem here? It was lots of fun!

**Moony: **I actually have to agree with my fellow Marauder on this point… It was incredibly fun!

**Dumbledore: **It ended in total Chaos, Boys!

**Prongs: **It was still really funny… Yes we did wreak **a little** total havoc, but what do you expect when we got eight hundred muggle teenagers around that think that **fun **is to put soap in a toilet.

**Moony: **So young, so innocent and oh so idiotic… putting soap in a toilet and throwing eggs on windows!? I mean come on… we did that when we was like three!

----

**7. ****Never let Padfoot near Moony's chocolate stock, and if Moony finds out Padfoot's been in his stock… Run like the wind! **_By James 'Prongs' Potter_

**Prongs: **That was the first time I've ever feared for my young life.

**Moony: **I feel an urge to murder someone coming up!

**Padfoot: **_-hides behind couch- _Moony can't see me, Moony can't see me, Moony can't see…

**Prongs: **No he can't see you! But he can still hear you!

**Moony: **_-Runs around the couch- _Now I can see you…

**Padfoot: **NOOOOOO spare me you ruler of feardome!

**Moony: **There is no such word as 'feardome'

**Padfoot: **Yes there is.

**Moony: **No there's not… at least not compounded…

**Padfoot: **NOT ANOTHER GRAMMAR DISCUSSION!

**Prongs: **…He did give you a bag of blood pops as payback…

**Moony: **ENOUGH WITH THE FREAKING BLOOD POPS! _–Two quiet minutes- _…Now I want one, Give Me A Blood Pop!

Gimme, gimme, gimme, gimme…

**Padfoot: **_-stuffs blood pop in Remus mouth- _Is he quiet now?

**Prongs: **Yes he is, and will so remain… for 'bout a minute or so!

**Padfoot: **I'm out of blood pops…

**Prongs: **_-Pale as a ghost- _You can't be out of blood pops… please tell me you're just kidding around!?

You're not kidding around are you…?

**Padfoot: **_-shakes head slowly- _

**Padfoot and Prongs: **_-starts to throw thing around- _WERE IS THE MAP??? FIND THE MAP OR WE'LL BE DOOMED!  
WE NEED TO GET TO HONEYDUKES!

----

**8. Never let the three Marauders into a muggle mall, at least not as long as they got muggle money on them. **_By Minerva McGonagall_

**Padfoot: **Why not? It was funny looking at muggle clothes and buy some too.

**McGonagall: **What you bought were women's clothes and them you wore them, in the mall… everyone were staring at you.

**Prongs: **That is exactly what we mean with fun!

**McGonagall: **Fun!? It was humiliating and then you came up to me wearing those things…

**Moony: **Well I figured something most have been off with the clothes sense no one else where wearing the same outfits.

**Prongs: **We would have known the clothes were made for girls if you had made Lily Evans go with us…

**Padfoot: **Well I got to say those skirts things did look a little odd on us… except for Moony, Moony looked really good in that short pink one…

**Moony: **Shut your mouth!

**Padfoot: **But I thought you looked hot and wild… Grrrr!

**Moony: **_-hides behind Prongs- _Don't let him near me… I am straight!

**Prongs: **_-looks at Remus- _Are you sure…?

**Moony: **Either you'll eat my fist for saying that or you'll give me eight Blood Pops so that I wont make your mouth into a garage for my fist…now, which one will it be?

**Prongs: **_-Runs- _I WANT MY MOMMY!

----

**9. Never wake the marauders up at two in the morning to have a talk with them about their pranks**_By Albus Dumbledore_

**Dumbledore: **Only Mr Black was awake and he said that we should go and wake the others… big mistake!

**Prongs: **It was two and I had a Quidditch match the next morning and wanted to sleep! I needed to sleep!

**Moony: **I had a full moon two days before, how can anyone ever get the idea of waking me up at a time like that, I need my sleep I'm very worn out after those nights.

**Padfoot: **You screamed at us to: Get out!

Lets us recall the event:

"_Wakei, wakei boys!" Sirius rumbled in to the room._

"_Siri… Shut Up!" James said from his bed._

_Remus sat up in bed, he looked very venomous… and tired "Sirius Black it is two in the morning! I don't care what your reason is just Get Out Of Here… or go to bed."_

"_But Remie-mi, Dumbledy's here to see us… he wants to talk!"_

_Dumbledore gave the boy a quick look "… Dumbledy…!?" he whispered to himself._

_Remus thre__w himself back into bed and placed a pillow over his head "I don't care what he want. If it's important he can come back at a decent hour like… what about nine!?"_

"_Siri, Professor… I think that Remus has a point__ and I have a __Quidditch__ match tomorrow I need to be fit for fight so let's talk about this in the morning… please." James pleaded. _

_Dumbledore was quiet for a minute, he didn't want to wake the three thirteen year olds but he had to talk to them about their pranks going over the edge sometimes __"I've to get to the ministry at eight and I'll not be back until next Sunday and…" he was interrupted by a pillow in the face._

_Remus where standing in his bed the short pyjama-pants showing the scar of the werewolf's bite on his left leg, he armed himself with another pillow._

"_It was a full moon two nights ago…" he said calmly "How can you even get the idea to wake me up at this time right after the full moon night? Don't you get how tired and worn out I am after those nights?"_

_He raised his right arm and threw the second pillow in Sirius face "… and you, if anyone should know this!"_

"_But Remie-mi…" _

"_Don't you Remie-mi me! __Just…GET OUT! NOW! …And give me my pillows back before you go."_

"_But Remie-mi now you're awake so let the man ease his old heart" __Sirius pouted._

_Remus grabbed his pillows and threw himself back in bed to hide under the covers "Sod of!"_

"_Professor, Sirius…" James stood next to his bed with his wand out pointing at them "Look up!"_

_Both Dumbledore and Sirius looked up and saw two bottles before ice cold water hit their heads._

_Sirius screamed "My hair! I'm so going to kill you James Potter, look what you done to my hair!" _

"_Maybe I should… come back… tomorrow…" Dumbledore just stood there covered in water and feathers from Remus pillow._

"_AAAAGGGHH! HOW GIVES A FREAKING SHIT 'BOUT FREAKING SLEEP JUST FREAKING TALK! ...Because now you've woken me up anyway." Remus screamed and jumped out off bed._

"_Are you angry Remie-mi?" Sirius approached him carefully knowing that Remus could be really scary if woken up early._

"_Angry? You think!?" Remus growled and bared his fangs. Looking from Sirius to Dumbledore with amber werewolf eyes "Do I look angry to you? I'm as calm and loving as a summer morning right now."_

"_Are you sure?" Sirius held one of Remus pillows as a shield in front of himself "You look as calm and loving as an angry werewolf in human form."_

"_Okay that's It!" Remus grabbed his wand __'Levicorpus'__ he though, a flash of light and Sirius and Dumbledore were both hanging in the air._

"_Get me down from here!" Sirius screamed. "Oh dear" came from Dumbledore._

"_Silencio__" The young werewolf cried and none of the two could now speak._

_Sirius reached for his wand but before he could get hold of it Remus shouted "__Petrificus Totalus__"_

"_Final__ly, some peace and quiet" James said as he and Remus both went back to bed and instantly fell asleep. _

**Dumbledore:**We didn't get down until seven in the morning, but I did make it to the ministry in time.

**Padfoot: **My poor head…

-----

**10. Don't EVER trust the Marauders especially with a Time-Turner. **_By the Ministry of Magic_

**Prongs: **Well it was fun as long as it lasted.

**Ministry: **We had work for **six months** after that!

**Padfoot: **Like what?

**Ministry: **Like cleaning up after you and write the reports and helping everyone that had been scarred for life…

**Moony: **You know nothing about being scarred for life!

-----

**11. Do not let Sirius Black know were the girls bathrooms are located at. **_By all the women in Hogwarts._

**Padfoot: **DARN!!!

**Moony: **I don't wanna know…

**Prongs: **Me neither…

**Random female student: **_-crying- _It was so scary, he was just standing there staring at all of us and then he pretended to be lost.

((_**I may write more of this some other time when I'm high on sugar and have insomnia**_))


	2. Chapter 2

Rules and Reasons

_Written by varies people close to the Marauders and of course the Marauders them self _

_**((This is just something I did when I was bor**__**ed out of my mind, high on sugar and had insomnia… just drabbles of Rules and the Reasons why they exist))**_

**_((I know this is a very short capther,_****_ the next one should be longer, but it takes me a long time to figure out the rules... Sorry!))_**

**12. Don't give stupid DADA assignments to your students. **_By random DADA teacher._

**Padfoot: **What do you think of the essay we have to write Remie?

**Moony: **Love it! Want me to read mine out loud to you?

**Prongs: **Please do!!

**Moony: **"How to recognize a werewolf by Remus Lupin"

"Excellent choice of subject professor…!"

"Unfortunately it's a little too late in my case."

"I already know what they look like, I see one every day……, I do posses a mirror you know!

- Fin"

**Padfoot:** It's defiantly a Nobel price in literature you have there Moony my mate.

**Moony: **Yes I know, I'm expecting it anytime now.

---

**13. The Marauders are not to sign there OLW:s with any other name then their own, use of names such as: Mr Pointyhat, The Dark Lord Mouldy Panties or Mr Shamalamadingdong is strictly prohibited. **_By the Hogwarts teaching stab and the Ministry of Magic._

**Moony: **You're no fun!

**Padfoot**Oh My Gosh! Did we just here Moony resent a rule!?

**Prong: **…….. _–Obviously in shock- ……._

**Dumbledore: **I can see the end of Hogwarts as we know it approaching.

**Moony: **Prongsie, Paddie… I refuse to be taunted by two guys who call the muggle pope Mr Pointyhat.

**Padfoot:** I thought you were the one who signed Mr Pointyhat, not this pope dude… whoever he is?

**Moony: **He is Mr Pointyhat!

**Padfoot: **I thought that was you!?

**Moony: **Yes that's half right but there is also the muggle pope.

**Padfoot:** _-Connection to brain… Failed…, miserably-_

**Moony: **…… AAAAGGGHHH!!!

**Prongs: **_-Leans over to Dumbledore- _As you can see a conversation with Sirius Black doesn't get much deeper than that.

---

**14. ****If going on a field trip don't let the Marauders join or else you will receive a migraine the size of Alaska before you've even left the grounds of Hogwarts. **_By Minerva McGonagall._

**Prongs: **I seriously can't see the problem here…

**Padfoot: **Me neither.

**Moony: **I think the point is that we managed to make her turn twenty different shades of fury-red before we realized it was time to run.

**Padfoot: **So that's way she turned red like that I thought she just **really** had to use the little ladies room.

**McGonagall: **MR PADFOOT!!!

**Padfoot: **_-takes of in the opposite direction-_

((_**I may write more of this some other time when I'm high on sugar and have insomnia**_))


End file.
